Ex-New Age Narcissist - Come to Jesus, A Skeptic's Journey part 5 of 7

Sep 19

9 min read

Updated: 4 days ago

From New Age Narcissist to Jesus: My Kundalini Yoga Testimony.

Aloha. I used to sprinkle fairy dust on everything.

Peace, love, and granola. Every little thing gonna be all right, Bob. I am a recovering New Age narcissist who used to believe glitter could cure spiritual warfare and battle demons I never really believed existed (I do now).

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12, ESV)

The Bible talks about the whole armor of GOD. Belt. Breastplate. Shield. Helmet of salvation. Sword of the Spirit. They are instructions. The 11x LOVE Method keeps GOD at the center. The Daily LOVE Practice is how I stay with Jesus on purpose. PRAY ALL DAY is the whole-day practice.

Key Takeaways

I wanted fairy dust. The dark side wanted me not to believe.
"My truth" was a delusion, and my kids paid for it.
I felt sorry for Doreen Virtue when she became a Christian.
I felt a red flag at White Tantra. I did it anyway.
Yoga means to yoke. The question is who you are joining.

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Episode Timestamps

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[00:00] Recovering New Age narcissist
[00:24] Spiritual warfare is real
[02:34] My truth was a delusion
[05:01] Oracle cards, horoscopes, psychics
[07:02] I felt sorry for Doreen Virtue
[09:08] Kundalini teacher training in New Mexico
[11:28] Get out. Then something grabbed my back
[13:48] I felt it was off. I did it anyway
[18:48] Yoga is to yoke
[22:42] I talk so these stories might help

What did "my truth" cost the people I love?

I wanted to ignore spiritual warfare since I was little. Head in the sand. Sprinkle glitter. Focus on the positive.

It works for a little while. It is temporary.

Dark forces are real. I am not saying this so you live in fear all the time but you need to know your enemy. When the demonic wants addiction, separation, and destruction, that is warfare.

I am a natural born hippie. Yay. Can't everyone just get along? Nope. We cannot. We are sinners. We are not all walking the same direction.

I wanted to believe every human is good inside. Nobody is bad. People just need love. That was my truth. My truth was a delusion.

It made me naive. Blind. I got hurt in a pile of situations. Then my hurt, hurt the people I care about more than anything. My children.

I was arrogant. Me, me, me. A spiritual narcissist. A New Age narcissist. My way. My truth. My god. My will. Rebel me is going to do it my way.

All I ever wanted as a mom was to love my kids and give them a better life than I had. Every mom wants that. Every dad wants that. My wounded ego, unresolved trauma, yelling and denying Jesus, hurt them. I will be repairing and repenting for the rest of my life. Thank GOD they have Jesus now. Me too. We got saved. I can only imagine what our lives would have been if I had not been wrapped up in the falsehood.

I kept thinking I was the one who would find the solution. I am the god. I am the goddess. My truth. My way. My experience. Barf in my mouth.

No humility. No surrender. Old wounds said I have to be in charge and be in control.

Why did I feel sorry for Doreen Virtue?

The spiritual warfare of the New Age often starts innocent. Oracle decks. A few crystals and essential oils. Your daily horoscope. Yoga class. A psychic so you can talk to dead grandma.

People walk in with love. Healing. Discovery. Personal growth.

Those are divination tools. The Bible forbids them.

One of my older teachers was Doreen Virtue. Angel cards. Goddess decks. Manifesting. Law of attraction. Fake.

Then she left the New Age movement for Christianity. I thought, poor Doreen. You sad little Christian. You are going to leave your followers and follow some book and some dude in a white robe. Poor you.

I was a judgmental jerk. I am sorry, Doreen. I am sorry, Jesus. I did not know.

I have been watching her testimonies. I do not agree with everyone on everything. I have tons of questions. You still have to have discernment and use your mind to think. You also have to be faithful. If you believe in Jesus, you listen to the Word.

The "my truth" thing is where the fragmentation happens. Everybody wants to be their own god. I talked about goddess worship and sex magic in another video in this series. This one is the New Age, the yoga, the Eastern tradition.

What happened at Kundalini White Tantra in New Mexico?

I became a certified Kundalini yoga teacher and a meditation teacher. I did not sign up to be a big guru. After my divorce I was newly sober, almost ten years ago when I did the certification. I wanted to go deep.

The training was very guru-centric. I had rejected guru culture for years, mostly because it clustered around men. I still told myself GOD is GOD and I will have my own version.

But something felt off. Dark. I ignored it. Red flag in the room. Everything else seemed pretty good, smelled and sounded nice with all the chanting so I stuffed the red flag.

Fast forward. New Mexico. White Tantra. You had to do it to get certified. Fifteen hundred, maybe two thousand people. Ridiculous. Giant rows facing each other. Forty-five minutes with your arms in the air. Chanting. Staring at the person across from you. A woman on the microphone yelling if you dropped your arms. Hypnotic. Toxic. Gross.

I told myself those people know more than me. Look how many are doing it. It must be okay. The red flag stayed in my periphery. I ignored it. I finished the training.

I slept in my van. I could have stayed another day for music, chanting, the little marketplace. I woke up with a voice on the shoulder.

Get out now. Time to go.

I argued. I can relax. I can listen to music. The voice did not budge. Get out. Time to go.

So I left.

What grabbed me on the drive back to Colorado?

I drove down the hill. Put gas in the car. About a six hour drive back to Colorado.

I am leaving the gas station and I felt this thing on my back, right around my heart. Pulling. Twisting. Like something had a grip on me and would not let go.

I was trying to drive. I was screaming at it. Leave. Get off of me. I was terrified. That had never happened to me.

Crying. Trying to compose myself so I did not wreck. Then visions. Aliens. We are in New Mexico. Billboard for aliens. Weird stuff popping. I thought I had opened a portal. I was wide open from White Tantra.

I got home and called my teacher. She said I was integrating. Opening the channels. This happens with your kundalini afterward.

Something told me to research Yogi Bhajan. White Tantra. Kundalini. I had done the whole teacher training and never done my skeptical deep dive. I was seduced with the music, the chanting, the feeling-good part. I did not do my due diligence.

I ignored that red flag. I did it anyway.

That was a theme of my life. I felt something was off, but I did it anyway.

This was about nine, nine and a half years ago. Forums started popping. People claimed Yogi Bhajan raped them. Sexually abused them. Got one pregnant. Forced an abortion. People in the practice said conjecture. I did not buy it. People do not just invent those stories. Similar stories. Cult-like control. Forced marriages. Straight up abuse.

I called my teacher again. She said the whistleblowers were liars. Angry people who left.

I listen to people who speak up. I have been abused. It is scary to tell the truth in public.

People attack you.

I went back to the studio. Icy cold shoulder. Teacher. Some students. You are not welcome here, questioner. You doubted us.

I had practiced there a year or two. Did the teacher training. Invested the time. These are my people. Then I got shunned.

So I left and I practiced every day at home. I kept chanting. I kept doing and teaching the practice because it made me feel good.

Fast forward. Around COVID, after COVID, the studio shut down. Lawsuits. Books. A monstrous scandal. I felt sad for that teacher. Thirty years in that cult. Crystals. Yoga. Love. She changed her name and her whole identity.

I called her. I felt sorry for her about the studio closing and the nasty stuff Yogi Bhajan did. She said, Valerie, I am really glad you listened to your intuition and left when you did. You got out. Good for you. I am really sorry I treated you that way.

That helped my heart. I still feel sad she got hurt and deceived for so long.

Why do people say yoga is just stretching?

Yoga is to yoke. That means to join. If you want stretching, go do Pilates. Go to the gym.

The whole point of yoga is a spiritual practice. When you put your body in postures dedicated to certain gods, when you chant to gods and goddesses, you are not with the one true GOD, Jesus Christ.

Incense. Pretty room. Fake idolotry. Long postures. Trance. Doors can open. Demonic influence can walk in. Worship anyone other than the real GOD and you are worshiping idols. There are thousands of Hindu gods an none of them are Jesus.

People will get angry with me for saying this. The old me would have been angry too and told the new me to shut up. Who do you think you are, you little Bible toter. Go away.

I am cautioning you to DYOR because I have firsthand damage and don't want you to accidentally get hurt and duped like I was. Countless people turning from these practices to the one true GOD have the same kind of story. We share so other people can get out of the loop of deception.

Why do yoga and mimosas keep showing up together?

Let's go do yoga and then we'll go have some mimosas. Let's smoke a joint and then we'll do yoga.

I was at a big summit. A meditation teacher lady, drunk all the time, promoting her spiritual stuff. You cannot be that person with GOD and super drunk all day.

I have been consumed by the demonic spirit of alcohol. Being drunk is not a spiritual experience. That culture puts it on repeat. People think it is stretching plus a little spirituality, then the drugs.

Please do not do that to yourself. You think you are expanding your consciousness. You are also opening the door.

If this offends you, my intention is not to hurt you. My intention is to share stories and truth. I do not want you hurt the way I was hurt.

I pray GOD shows us the way. I pray we can be humble enough to admit we were chasing the next thing and accidentally hurting ourselves.

I talk because I have been invited to in my prayers. What am I supposed to do, GOD? I am not a genius business person. Not a genius tech person. Not a genius engineer. I heard, you can talk. You are a good talker Valerie. Okay. I will do that.

I am not talking from a guru expert perspective.

I am talking from a wounded, stupid human. Stupid, well-intentioned, ignorant, arrogant narcissist. Thinking I had all the answers. Thinking I was the one in control. Fumbling. Repeatedly.

If I can use my painful mistakes as ways to go to Jesus, and as ways other people can get to Jesus, that is my purpose. I am going to keep doing it.

Submit yourselves therefore to GOD. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (James 4:7, ESV)

Common Questions About New Age Narcissism, Kundalini Yoga and Coming to Jesus

Q: What does from New Age to Jesus mean in this Kundalini testimony?

A: From New Age to Jesus means leaving self-as-god teaching, divination tools, and yoga-as-worship, then receiving Jesus Christ as Lord. DJ Valerie B LOVE became a Kundalini yoga teacher after her divorce, ignored a red flag at White Tantra, and later came to Jesus.

Q: Is yoga just stretching?

A: Valerie teaches that yoga means to yoke, to join, and that it is a spiritual practice. If you only want stretching, she points people to the gym or Pilates. Postures and chants dedicated to other gods are not alignment with Jesus.

Q: Did Valerie have a spiritual attack after White Tantra?

A: Yes. She testifies that after leaving a Kundalini White Tantra event in New Mexico, something grabbed and twisted at her back near her heart while she drove. Her teacher called it kundalini integration. Valerie now names it spiritual warfare.

Q: Why does the Bible warn against oracle cards and psychics?

A: Scripture forbids divination. Valerie points readers to Deuteronomy 18 and to Jesus. Oracle decks, horoscopes, and psychics often enter as healing and become doors to demons.

Q: What should I do if I am leaving Kundalini or New Age yoga?

A: Start with Jesus, Scripture (ESV), prayer, and a Daily LOVE Practice with GOD at the center. Close the old doors. Talk to a pastor or priest. You do not have to do this alone. Join a community that names Jesus.

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Wishing YOU and Your LOVED Ones,

Peace, LOVE & Warm Aloha

DJ Valerie B LOVE 🩷

About DJ Valerie B LOVE ~ Disciple of Jesus

Co-Founder of The 11x LOVE Method, on a mission to help 1 million spiritual seekers become Faith Finders and Freedom Lovers by designing and rocking their Divine Masterpiece for GOD through a Daily LOVE Practice and accountability community. “PRAY ALL DAY”