Goddess Worship and Trauma - Come to Jesus - A Skeptic's Journey part 3 of 7

Sep 19

10 min read

From New Age Goddess Worship to Jesus: Why I Renounced It

Aloha. I have been Valerie the Vibe Goddess since the late 90s, when I was DJing.

I wanted music to uplift people. I preached empowerment. I worshipped the inner goddess. Almost thirty years later I am sitting here as a Disciple of Jesus, renouncing goddess worship, sex magic, and New Age.

And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. (2 Corinthians 11:14, ESV)

Key Takeaways

I spent almost 30 years as Valerie the Vibe Goddess.
The identity felt like power. It was deception.
Pretty promises of power, healing, and control got me when I felt powerless.
The 5 D's never filled the Soul Hole. Only Jesus does.
Talk to your pastor. Talk to your priest. You do not have to do this alone.

Watch the Full Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_UP3CM0Rhg

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Episode Timestamps

Jump to any section:

[00:00] Sex magic, goddess worship, divine feminine
[02:21] We are not goddesses
[04:11] I practiced it, and I renounce it
[05:46] They were witchcraft spells
[08:20] Feeling good is not the same as from GOD
[12:23] Spiritual warfare and the 5 D's
[16:31] The goddess sticker still on my stuff
[20:50] Jesus take the wheel
[31:45] I love you, Jesus, in the middle of the night
[34:52] I would never want that for my daughter

Why did I call myself Valerie the Vibe goddess?

I have been Valerie the Vibe Goddess for almost 30 years.

I wanted the divine feminine. I played music to help people feel LOVE and harmony. I still believe music can be medicine for the soul.

In the process I identified as a goddess. I told other people to find the inner goddess. Worship yourself. The divine in me sees the divine in you.

The intentions were warm. The theology was a lie. I am not a goddess. I am not a god. There is only one GOD, and we are not Him. Pretending we are is Halloween. That is a costume.

We are GOD's creation. Only GOD is omnipotent. Only GOD creates. He does not hand us powers to manifest a life like we are the boss of the universe. The dark side offers false powers. They are not from GOD.

I never fully bought law of attraction. Say it and it arrives. No. Proof of work still matters. You cannot make a claim and think it is yours.

What did I actually practice?

There is a lot of marketing for people who are truly seeking GOD. Boss babe. Goddess. You are in control. Do some tantra. Move the kundalini. Clear your chakras with orgasms.

I was doing that. I became a Kundalini yoga teacher. I practiced meditation as a power tool. I moved sexual energy on purpose.

I completely renounce and condemn those practices for my own life. I am sorry I misused this and taught others to do the same.

I have been sexually abused many times as a child, teen, and young woman by people I was supposed to trust. I tried to take my power back through sexuality. I thought if I became a sexy, powerful woman, nobody could mess with me, because I was a goddess.

I took matters into my own hands instead of turning those wounds over to GOD and to Jesus. I slept with different people. I used sexual power and called it prayer.

They were not prayers. They were dangerous witchcraft spells. They were not in alignment with Jesus and the Bible.

I thought I could do the Taoist energy exchange. It works. That is what is so alluring. It is extremely attractive to people who have been hurt, used, and abused.

I do not need to list every little thing. It is a lot. I strike it down. I rebuke it. I cut ties with all of it, because it is not of GOD.

It was dressed up as pretty promises of power, pretty promises of healing, pretty promises of control. Those sounded so good when I felt powerless, out of control, helpless, worthless, ashamed, abused.

I gobbled it up. Bring it on. More, more, more.

Why did pretty promises work on me?

It was a lie. It turned me toward the dark side dressed as light, and away from Jesus, away from GOD, away from the truth.

Sexuality is a blessing GOD gave us for procreation, and for someone we deeply love and spend our lives with. Because there is pleasure, I misunderstood. I thought I was supposed to have all the pleasure I wanted.

If it feels good, it must be good, right?

I have not done heroin. I heard that feels good. Feeling good does not mean it is good. Feeling good does not mean it is from GOD.

That is the deception we are sold. Then it gets peddled through music, videos, entertainment, fashion. I will show cleavage if I want. I will show my butt if I want. You cannot tell me what to do.

That was a rebel spirit I now believe was demonic influence.

The rise of OnlyFans for broke girls and 24/7 porn for young and old. The the perversion of GOD's daughters. GOD's sons get chewed up too. A lot of it lands on women. Quick money. Jump on the pole. Put pictures up. College is expensive. I need to eat. It is just pictures. Who cares?

Those are beautiful souls. Daughters of GOD. They are being lied to and abused even further.

I had a friend in the 90s DJ scene who worked bachelor parties. She wore a suit of power. It is cool. I can do this. I am in control. Thirty years later I have watched the devastating spiritual scar it left on her. The things we do when we are young catch up to us eventually.

What do the 5 D's have to do with spiritual warfare?

You are going to hear spiritual warfare from me a lot.

When we do things that are not in service and glory to GOD, we open doorways. Demonic influence comes in.

Trauma and fear are a buffet for that.

Resentment is monstrous.

Jesus tells us to forgive.

If we live in trauma, shame, fear, and resentment, we set the table for demons.

Then we get little bits of relief. I call them the 5 D's. Diamonds, Drugs, Donuts, Digital, Deviance. Shopping. Scrolling. Sex used to fill the ache. Food. Status. We think it will fill the Soul Hole.

The ONLY thing that fills that hole is Jesus. The true one and only GOD. Everything else is a bucket with a hole in it. One solution. Only one.

I am not a person with all the answers. I have been the person on the floor crying. Why did I do this to myself again? Why did I let this person in? Why did I say yes to my nos and no to my yeses? Beating myself up. Hating myself.

That is where the enemy wants you. Face toward the darkness. Not looking up into the light. Free will lets us stay there, instead of saying, I have to give it over to You, GOD.

We think we take control back as a sexual goddess or a kundalini lady. You think you are in control because it feels like safety.

Jesus has control. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. We have the one move of turning our heads and saying yes. Show me the way.

When we do that, real help shows up. The other stuff is sorcery dressed as light.

Why does GOD have to be a Him?

That stumbling block sat in me for 40-some years while I rejected the Bible and Jesus.

I am still coming to terms with it. And it does not matter. We say Father. Jesus is a man. The Holy Spirit is He. Who they are matters. My ego wanted GOD to be a woman. I had to get out of the way. GOD loves me. GOD loves you. He wants us to love Him back. I surrender.

The sexual revolution damaged women in ways we are still paying for. I pray our daughters and granddaughters do not inherit the toxicity we allowed to be built for them.

I dressed provocatively. Who cares. Do not tell me how to dress. My dad and my mom said I was getting unwanted attention. I said I do not care. It is my body.

I allowed myself to be objectified.

That brought people who did not treat me as a daughter of GOD.

They treated me like a goddess they could take from.

They did not respect my soul, my spirit, or my heart.

They took what they wanted. They did not treat me the way GOD would want a man to treat a woman.

That is on me. I made those choices. I was wounded and misguided. I am still learning.

What happens when I let Jesus take the wheel?

For years, childhood trauma sat with its hands on the wheel of my life. Turn here. Do that.

Jesus, take the wheel by Carrie Underwood . When I let Jesus take control, when I let the Father and the Holy Spirit lead, they know way more than I do.

The GOD I used to believe in was buffet cotton candy. Universe. Source. Spirit. A matrix grid I thought I could influence and manifest. Impersonal.

What I had been seeking my whole life was acceptance, LOVE, a safe place to be seen. Flawed. In pain. Hurting people. Hurt. I wanted LOVE that did not require a costume.

I think GOD is pleased when we surrender to Him. In my experience, when I look at Him and say, I am here. I am a mess. I am a giant hot mess. I surrender. Show me the way.

I want to live better because I love who GOD is. GOD is LOVE. GOD is LOVE. I want to be LOVE. That is my name. So I want His way.

I wake up in the middle of the night now. The last thing I say until I fall asleep is, I love You, Jesus, thank You, Jesus. I love You, GOD, thank You, GOD. I love You, Holy Spirit. I love You, Father.

Then I wake up and say it out loud. I love You, GOD. First thought in the morning. Thank You. I got another day.

That is the living water I was thirsty for.

but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. (John 4:14, ESV)

All the things I chased for decades never quenched me. Temporary fixes. None of them woke me up in the middle of the night with joy.

What would I never want for my daughter?

I have done so many things in my life I would never EVER want my daughter to do. Not a single one of them. Never, ever, ever. Why would I treat myself that way?

At the time I was attempting to heal. I was trying to regain something stolen from me, which was my innocence, by becoming a goddess. That was a lie.

If you have had sexual abuse in your life, and you tried to reclaim what was taken by becoming a goddess or a god, I would invite you to ask: is this getting me closer to the one and only GOD, or is it a costume so I can feel stronger because I do not trust anyone?

Speak to someone you can trust as far as you are able. A pastor. A priest. Ask Jesus to come into your heart and show you His way. My DMs are open. This is a tough subject. YouTube may take it down. I will put it on the website.

You do not have to do this alone. GOD loves you. GOD wants you home with Him. You do not have to give away anything sacred to make money or feel powerful.

I feel complicit. I told myself I was a positive DJ while I still dressed for the wrong altar. I am not putting on nunnery garb but I could have set a better example for my family and for myself.

I pray for souls chewed up by the sex industry, by trafficking, by anything that harms children.

but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. (Matthew 18:6, ESV)

Spiritual power gets abused. Priests. Pastors. Yoga teachers. People who say this is spritual if you do this naughty thing with me. That is one reason I rejected organized religion for so long. I do not trust humans. I do not trust myself. We are sinners. We are fallible. Intentions do not save you. What you do matters.

I do not want origami GOD. I used to say follow your heart. I did that my whole life. It got me in trouble. Me, me, me. I am open to another way. The way. Humble. Receive grace. Give Jesus the wheel.

Common Questions About Goddess Worship and Coming to Jesus

Q: What does from New Age to Jesus mean for a former vibe goddess?

A: From New Age to Jesus means leaving self-as-goddess teaching and receiving Jesus Christ as Lord. DJ Valerie B LOVE spent almost 30 years as Valerie the Vibe goddess, then renounced goddess worship, sex magic, and kundalini practices she now names as witchcraft dressed as healing.

Q: Is goddess worship the same as self-love?

A: No. Valerie testifies that inner-goddess worship is a costume. There is only one GOD, and we are not Him. Warm intentions do not make it true. Only GOD creates. We do not manifest as gods.

Q: Did sex magic help Valerie heal sexual abuse?

A: No. She tried to take power back through sexuality, and she says it was a lie. The wounds belong with Jesus. Pastor or priest first. A spiritual life coach is not a priest.

Q: What are the 5 D's in this teaching?

A: Diamonds, Drugs, Donuts, Digital, and Deviance. Valerie teaches them as counterfeit relief that never fills the Soul Hole. Only Jesus does.

Q: What should I do if I have been in goddess spirituality or the sex industry?

A: Talk to your pastor. Talk to your priest. Ask Jesus to come into your heart and show you His way. You do not have to give away anything sacred to feel powerful. You do not have to do this alone. Join a community that names Jesus.

💗 ALL my digital courses and content are by donation so we can uplift 1 Million Hearts

Support the LOVE Mission: https://djvalerieblove.com/donate

Newsletter: https://djvalerieblove.com/subscribe

Coaching: https://djvalerieblove.com/coaching

Community: https://djvalerieblove.com/community

Remember…You are LOVED ✝️

"DJ" Valerie B LOVE 💗 Disciple of Jesus

About DJ Valerie B LOVE ~ Disciple of Jesus

Co-Founder of The 11x LOVE Method, on a mission to help 1 million spiritual seekers become Faith Finders and Freedom Lovers by designing and rocking their Divine Masterpiece for GOD through a Daily LOVE Practice and accountability community. "PRAY ALL DAY"